Happy Birthday to Me!

This is the last 40 minutes of my 30's.

I swore 10 years ago I'd make some big changes in my life.

Here I sit realizing that another 10 years has gone by and I'm still fat, still a lousy housekeeper, and still a headstrong, opinionated bitch...but...I'm also still married to my high school sweetheart, have successful and happy kids, and still try really hard to always put my family first above all things material or otherwise.

The biggest lesson I've learned this past decade is that I can and will make personal sacrifices for the happiness and success of my children and our family as a whole. I'll have "me" time again...someday way down the road...right now, it's about our family and our kids. I can sacrifice and I'm pretty dang proud of myself for that. I see parents on a daily basis who seem to forget the world stopped revolving around them the second they found out they were pregnant. It makes me profoundly sad to witness such selfishness. I would give up the world for my kids.

I don't need new diamonds, new cars, new anything to help me see clearly that I am truly blessed with the life we have made for ourselves through sacrifice, determination, commitment, education, positive attitude and sheer dumb luck that some things just fell in to place as we had hoped.

"What do you want for your birthday?" Matthew asks every year...all I can answer is time. For I will be married to my husband for 40+ more years...I need more time with my kids, my family as a whole. 18 years blinked by and suddenly Taylor is 1200 miles away at college. I wanted more time.

I know that the next 40 years are going to just keep getting better. Family is, after all, what this life is about.

I need to value what I have today, live for today, and be grateful that I get to have a tomorrow. My goals for the next decade won't be "fit in my size 8 Guess jeans from high school" anymore, it will be...play a game with the family at least once a week. Sit at the table for dinner with everyone at least 3 nights a week. Stop and watch when Matthew wants to show me a magic trick or tell me a joke and listen with my eyes. Take a great family vacation at least once very year. Make sure my kids know as they grow that I am their biggest fan, every day. Forever.

This is my birthday swan song...40...here I come!